Monday, May 19, 2008


Temperature at departure = 66° F (19° C)

Overland Park, KS.

After decades of congressional debate and international controversy, the Bug Wars Defense Initiative was utilized for the first time today. While some viewed the results as a failure, others in the administration are confident that today's action will be seen as a successful deterrent in the days to come.

In a press conference concluded just moments ago, General P. Mantis described this morning's action.

"At approximately 08:25 we deployed a GPS (Gnat Path Screen) where a number, which I cannot divulge, of our brave, fighting gnats formed a defensive screen across the Indian Creek Trail. The purpose of the screen was to deflect a large, I believe the term is ... psycho-list away from its destructive path towards our homeland. I would like to offer our humble thanks to the families of those gnats who gave their lives in an effort to fly into the eyes and mouth of the enemy and although it made it past our defenses, I am sure that their sacrifice will serve as a warning to stay off our trail in the future. Thank you."


Dave Alexander said...

You have something stuck in your teeth there...

Noah said...

You're not kidding. ALL of the creek-adjacent trails are swarming with gnats. I stopped carrying shot bloks with me. I just open wide for an extra 100 calorie snack on my way home.

Anonymous said...

haha. Beady eyes. Loved it.

WildcatAl said...

Shawnee, KS
Another Gnat Path Screen has been setup and deployed along the Mill Creek Trail.