A study shows walnuts can fight strokes and heart disease. This article says "A team from Barcelona's Hospital Clinico recommend eating an ounce (28g) of walnuts a day." I agree, but my agreement has nothing to do with the health benefits; I just want to get the things off the bike path and the squirrels haven't been keeping up with their end of the bargain (another story). You see, walnuts have a dark side; an insidious, twisted secret that these, so called, "scientists" have turned a blind eye towards: Walnuts are intent on world domination. That is right, world domination. And they've started with a plan to eliminate bicycle riders on the Overland Park bike paths.
You see, walnuts have developed the ability to congregate on the bike path at strategic points, like sharp, blind turns -- they even have learned to hide themselves in the fallen leaves. Trust me; hitting a walnut in the middle of a turn is no fun. So, go ahead and believe the hype; just start eating more walnuts -- if you're looking for a free supply, just take a trip on the local bike path. Just be careful out there, the acorns may be in on the plot.
Here, this will get you started... Recipies galore.
1 comment:
YES. Walnuts are one of the hazards I dread in the fall. Walnuts, acorns, those huge brain balls, and wet leaves.
At my Alma Mater the squirrels have developed a sport: they chuck acorns and walnuts at students as they walk under the trees. Seriously.
Your story is only missing the truth that it's not the walnuts bent on world domination, it's the squirrels wanting a good laugh.
Keep up the commuting!
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